Here are the muffins I made with the extra batter from the Friendship Bread. They were really good. I should mention that I brought this entire massive, defective, hole-in-the-center loaf of bread to work to share, and I went down to the break room to collect the remains at the end of the day. I thought there’d be about half or a third of the loaf left. Instead there was NOTHING. Even the crumbs were gone. So, really, it’s worth making. I’ll package up a starter and send it to you if you want. “You” is anybody.

This could also be called chain letter bread, because that’s basically what it is, an evil chain letter. You’ll feel guilty if you don’t perpetuate it–and, basically, it’s too good not to. Plus, any recipe that explicitly instructs me to “do nothing” is a good recipe in my book.

INGREDIENTS

• 1 c. live yeast starter (if you want this, holler. I have some spares in the freezer.)
• 4 c. flour
• 3 c. sugar
• 2 1/2 c. milk
• 1 c. canola or vegetable oil
• 3 eggs
• 1 tsp. vanilla
• 1 1/2 tsp. baking powder
• 2 tsp. cinnamon
• 1/2 tsp. baking soda
• 1 big (5.1 oz.) box instant vanilla pudding
• 1/2 tsp. salt
• 1 c. nuts (optional… I like them with or without)

I have an urgent-sounding note at the beginning of the recipe which warns not to refrigerate and not to use any metal spoons or equipment, only glazed ceramic or plastic bowls and containers. My immediate response to this is “WTF” because I accidentally baked the bread in an aluminum loaf pan and it turned out just fine. I don’t know if you would suddenly end up dead if you decided to stir the batter with a metal spoon or something, but my instincts say you’d probably be OK. Of course, maybe I’m just trying to bring doom to your life. USE METAL AT YOUR OWN RISK!!1

Day 1: Do nothing with the starter.
Days 2-5: Stir with a wooden spoon. (There’s that ominous wording again.)
Day 6: Add 1 cup flour, 1 cup sugar, and 1 cup milk. Stir with a wooden spoon.
Days 7-9: Stir with a wooden spoon.
Day 10: Add 1 cup flour, 1 cup sugar, and 1 cup milk. Stir. Take out 3 cups and place 1 cup each into three separate plastic containers. Give one cup and a copy of this recipe to three friends. (Chain letter!) To the balance (a little over one cup) of the batter, add the following and mix well.

• 1 c. oil
• ½ c. milk
• 3 eggs
• 1 tsp. vanilla

In a separate bowl combine the following dry ingredients and mix well.

• 2 c. flour
• 1 c. sugar
• 1 1/2 tsp. baking powder
• 2 tsp. cinnamon
• 1/2 tsp. baking soda
• box instant vanilla pudding
• 1/2 tsp. salt
• 1 c. nuts (optional)

Add dry ingredients to wet ingredients. Mix and pour into two well-greased and sugared bread pans. Sugaring the pans is key. I forgot to do it and I noticed. The bread will taste MUCH better if sugared. Bake at 325 for one hour.

Makes one loaf, apparently, although I was able to make a medium-sized loaf and six small muffins from it. It puffs up because it contains yeast, so don’t overfill your pan.

It’s a forgiving recipe, really… I went away to Rochester on days 7-9, when I was supposed to be stirring it dutifully, and nothing happened. Well, I mean, nothing has happened YET. Maybe its chain letter aspect is out to get me, just lurking around my bedroom corner…

P.S. I don’t know why my loaf of bread had a funny depression in the middle. I guess that’s just the way it is? It tasted good, anyway, even if it wouldn’t win any beauty contests.